Posts tagged with: Children

Is you behaviour affecting your children – the effect of domestic abuse on children and young people

Is your behaviour affecting your children?

Even if your children haven’t seen you be abusive, they’ve almost certainly overheard things. Children are highly intuitive and can pick up on tension around them. It’s terrifying to hear a parent being abused. To know that someone they love is being harmed, and not knowing how it will end. To be powerless to stop it. Studies have shown that children suffer long-term harm if they live with violence and abuse, even if the abuse isn’t directed at them.

Physical effects

Your children might be physically hurt in the ‘cross-fire’, suffer sleep deprivation and be unable to concentrate at school. They may wet the bed, develop eating disorders, or endure panic attacks, stress and tension.

Emotional effects

Your child will probably feel fear, anger and anxiety, be jumpy or unable to relax. They might struggle to trust you, or others, and develop low self-esteem and psychological problems.

Behavioural effects

Children learn from those around them. Your child could start to model themselves on your violent and abusive behaviour, and bully other children or expect and accept abuse. They might struggle with school work or skip school, steal or break the law, or turn to alcohol and drugs.

It’s easy to minimise your actions. Maybe you think what you’ve done ‘isn’t that bad’. Maybe you’re making excuses.

Or maybe you’re finding the strength, now, to face up to what you’ve done and the effect it’s having on people you care about. Maybe you’re feeling guilty or ashamed of how you’ve behaved.

It can hurt to admit that what you’ve done is not okay. But by doing so and choosing to change, you’re taking responsibility for your actions, and are on the road to change.

Help is available from:

Children and young people living with domestic abuse

Is someone in your family hurting someone else? If abuse is happening at home, you probably want it to stop but you might not be sure what you can do. The best thing to do is to tell someone what is going on. You might be able to talk to the person who is being hurt. If not, you could try talking to a teacher, a neighbour, a friend or a friend’s parent, etc.

You can also call a helpline – they will be able to tell you where you can get help near where you live.

Remember, domestic abuse is not your fault. You won’t get into trouble for telling someone.

Help is available from:

  • Hampshire Domestic Abuse Service Advice Line

03300 165 112 weekdays 9.30am-5.30pm (5pm Fridays)

  • Childline

Telephone: 0800 1111

Childline is available for children and young people to reach out for help and support by phone or using their online chat service. They also provide specific guidance for young people on how to get help and what to do if they are worried about a friend.

  • NSPCC

Telephone: 0808 800 5000

Email: help@nspcc.org.uk

The NSPCC has issued guidance for spotting and reporting the signs of abuse on their website.

The NSPCC Helpline is available for anyone with concerns about a child to contact for professional advice and support.

  • Barnardo’s

Barnardo’s provides support to families affected by domestic abuse.

  • Family Lives

Family Lives also provide support through online forums.